Posts Tagged ‘partner’


  • Joking and insults
  • Ignoring or minimizing feelings
  • Withholds approval and emotional support as punishment
  • Yelling, name calling
  • Repeated insults, degrading
  • Targeted insults, or labeling
  • Belittling and private humiliation
  • Public humiliation
  • Blaming and accusing
  • Demands all attention
  • Resentful of children or marriage
  • Threats against children or marriage
  • Threats to take the children
  • Degrading role as mate, lover, or partner
  • Giving mixed signals
  • Lack of cause and effect
  • Questions sense of reality
  • Depression
  • Nervous breakdown
  • Mental illness
  • Complete isolation/withdrawn
  • Suicide by victim


  • Refusal to meet physical needs of dependents
  • Push, shove
  • Strangle, beat
  • Jerk, slap, bite, pinch
  • Shake, bruising
  • Withholding sex and affection
  • Hit, punch, kick
  • Targeted hitting
  • Repeated hitting
  • Use of objects as weapons
  • Throwing victim
  • Restraining while hitting or punching
  • Abuse during pregnancy
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Lacerations, broken bones, internal injuries
  • Use of weapons
  • Disabling or disfiguring
  • Murder


  • Sexual jokes or demeaning gender remarks
  • Jealousy, assumes you are sexual with others
  • Unwanted touching
  • Criticism of sexuality
  • Name calling with sexual epithets
  • Forced to look at/engage in pornography
  • Demanding monogamy from victim despite promiscuous behavior by batterer
  • Coercive/demanding sex (use of threats)
  • Humiliation
  • Forceful sex (rape)
  • Forced, uncomfortable sex
  • Coercive/demanding sex after pregnancy or surgery
  • Rape resulting in permanent injury
  • Rape with imprisonment
  • Rape with murder


  • Uses gender myths and roles. Eliminate support system
  • Uses sexism, racism and/or homophobia. Prevents victim from learning English, degrades culture, religion or nationality
  • Alienates victim’s family/friends profession, gender. Threatens to ‘out’ lesbian or gay
  • Destroys or damages victim’s property. Tells victim they are always in control
  • Demonstration of strength. Complete isolation
  • Controls major decisions. Child abuse/incest
  • Enforces economic dependence. Destroys/maims family pet
  • Controls money/finances. Deprives victim of food, medicine, sleep
  • Denies access to work/gets them fired. Convinces victim they are hysterical, paranoid
  • Threatens to hurt victim’s extended family
  • Threatens to report to immigration. Suicide


Information given here is credited to Metropolitan King County Council April 2002


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Are you feeling as though your life is off balanced? Look at the wheel below. Chances are you are neglecting one of your quadrants. You must devote time (doesn’t have to be equal time) to each quadrant in order to remain whole.life-wheel.jpg

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